Bushwise Diaries – Episode 4 has been birthed!

…and with every birth, there must be a death. In this case, a rotten stinking death with hooves, horns and the half-chewed facial expression of a celebrity being papped with a prostitute. Really, those lions and hyenas must be more hungry than I’ve ever been – even on a rancid cider hangover that demands carbohydrates on a global scale – to be able to swallow down the miserable rankness of a corpse that’s been sitting in the sun for a few days. But then, I guess it’s a bit more honest than the fast food chains who roll it up in a patty and put it in a bun. So, !WARNING!, if you enjoy the lips and a*seholes that constitute a Big M*c, then you’ll enjoy this, because it has similar fare. You may even salivate onto your nice new frock. Me? It proper puts me off my beetroot. Ladythings and gentlemonks, I welcome you to Episode 4…

Bushwise Diaries – Episode 3 is here!!

As London spews rain like a thug on Stella, things in the bush begin to heat up. It was hard work out there, you know. IT WAS! Don’t you dare roll your eyes like that. Did you have to wash up for 16 people? Did you have to get up at 4am to check the oil? Were you trapped in a big forest with a ridiculous man? (inside joke). Did you have to drive around looking at lions and hyenas and impala and bushbuck and steenbok and…oh…yeah…I see your point. Sorry. Anyway, watch the video and we’ll have this argument at a later date. By the way…you’re welcome. Jeesh, we’re not getting along, are we. (Have I just had an argument with you or myself?)

Bushwise Diaries – Episode 2 is here!

Lions and lions and lions, honestly, I’m not lion (lying). The South African winter continues to make me wear a beany hat that makes me look like I work on the bins rather than staring professionally at warthogs. So, episode 2 is here, and as I sit here in the living room with the cat peering over at me in a manner I had previously perceived as being loving devotion (but now realise it’s him sizing me up for a particularly gruesome kill), London starts seeming a million miles away from adventures in the bush. Pull up a chair, or a beanbag, or – stop being pedantic – anything you can flipping sit on (jeeesh), and enjoy my bush. (childish guffaw).

Ladies and gentlecats, I bring you, Bushwise Diaries – episode 2…

‘Bushwise Diaries’ – the web-series is here!

So that’s another adventure completed. Sob, kersnuffle, sob. Getting used to being in London after living in the middle of the South African bush for 6 months is a little bit like learning to love beetroot all over again…a long and arduous path, and a little bit vinegary. But while I toil over not having rotten old hyenas in my life any more, and missing the musky honk of a warthog, and sitting indoors just hoping that a spider the size of my head with nuclear venom will scuttle from under the cat…please do enjoy the first episode of my new web-series…’Bushwise Diaries‘ (10 x 5 mins for GVI/Bushwise).