Once More Unto The Breach: ‘We Are Rhino’ begins filming…

WE ARE RHINO LOGOI’m going in, chaps. Yup, in just two days I will again be in that Africa…this time with a different mission. My new film is called ‘We Are Rhino‘ (working title – someone else has suggested ‘Horn Free’, but I think that might just appear to make light of a really properly grim subject, what do you think?).

Screen Shot 2013-04-29 at 08.39.29It’s all about rhino poaching in South Africa. Except this isn’t just another journey into the bush finding carcasses and going on scary night patrols with poaching guards that you can put exciting and/or oppressive music under; this film is all about three very different people, each of whom have very different ideas as to how to stop the poaching. I think it’s high time people understood what’s really going on, because it’s not just all about poor and desperate men stalking through the night with rifles and axes. It’s a whole lot more complicated than that – from Vietnam to Africa, from politics to criminal syndicates (the last two might actually be the same thing).


I am armed with a Panasonic AF101, many lenses, an ‘Interrotron‘, various GoPros, a pen knife (so back off, my friend), Marmite, some portable urinals (true) and a trusty hired Kia Piccanto – into which two of us will wedge and sweat in for a month. I plan to wash only once. I will eat mainly rusks.


Kruger, Waterberg, Pilansberg, Hoedspruit, malaria, here we come. We are Rhino.



Yebo! It may be a year and a half since I drenched my translucent British frame in macho khaki and began speaking with twangs of hyena. But only recently did the series of Bushwise Diaries become complete….due largely to a hard drive apocalypse, some sort of nuclear power surge in Toronto that made an obliterated binary nonsense my Western Digital drive, and stabbed me in the wallet with £700 worth of wealth raping data retrieval fees. I feel like I’ve been burgled in code, ransacked in HTML, slapped right in the Quicktime.


But let’s not be bitter. Here it is…this link takes you to the whole damned series, 1 through 7, from lions to tortoises to elephants to fork tailed drongos…